I took the day off to do something grand, but then another blizzard came around and I’ve just been in the house all day. I’m not unhappy about it though… soon I’ll be working physically very hard and I need to enjoy this time.
It seems like there is always something crazy going on in my life that I use as an excuse to not take care of my various responsibilities. Whether that’s making art or seeing my friends or paying bills or taking care of myself.. I put things off.
I keep telling myself “when this… day, week, project, semester, job, season… is over, I’ll have the time to do this stuff”. It’s a lie. There’s always something new to take the place of whatever I accomplish. I guess that’s life as an adult.
Now that I realize this, I’m obligated to just take care of things when they first come up. Bill comes in the mail, pay it. Start a messy project, finish it. Procrastinating should be the exception, not the rule.
Second, I need to enjoy each day. It’s the most fundamental cliche thing that they always tell you, but I’m slowly realizing that I’m not doing it. I am full of dreams that are years away. Those can be strong in me, but they shouldn’t be my whole life. I need to work on being happy and making each day special. Not just looking forward to when it will all magically come together. This is my LIFE and I’m wasting it.
And I can’t put THAT off too, and say “I’m starting a new job in three weeks, my attitude will change then”. It won’t. I know this because I routinely make major changes every 6-12 months in an effort to quell my rising discontent. But when the newness wears off, I’m searching for the next big thing. Why can’t I learn to enjoy what’s on my plate while it’s there?
So I guess the question is, what am I going to accomplish today? And how am I going to enjoy the time I’ve been given?